As a much younger pre-accident me the phrase the morning after the night before took on a very different meaning. From lifting the head off the pillow which suddenly weighed 90% of my bodyweight, to the mouth that felt like I’d spent the last 6 hours licking the sand of the sahara desert and the room still spinning and not enough sleep. The quick check around the room am I at home, am I in bed or the lounge, am I clothed, am I alone, am I alive and most importantly of all am I hungover? There was a period when I didn’t get hangovers a nighttime routine and one long party helped prevent the hangover headache and it was up, fry-up, and hair of the dog before assessing how much would be done that day, but the older I got and the wilder I got the more hangovers I got!
Now I ask the same question as those with my hangover head but with very different reasons behind them and certainly more frequently with depressing answers. You see today has been like the worst hangover you can have. It starts with a really good fun day/night the night before, followed by some restless sleep if sleep at all. Then this morning the first movement in bed told me that as suspected today would be a bad day.
Forget about lifting my head, just turning it from side to side was painful. Using the rail on my bed I slowly sat myself up, but my dressing gown on and took the short stroll to the shower room. Using my frame and shower seat my morning ablutions were complete. I didn’t feel hungry but knew I had to force some food in me so that I could take my morning meds and the parts of me that I cannot reach with my towel could continue to dry.
Next was time to dress, my wife helped dry my feet and put my socks on me and applied some gel to my back. Every movement was taking all my effort (it wasn’t my head screaming not like it used to be after one too many sherberts), my limbs didn’t feel like my own and didn’t want to move and I’m sure over the noise of my wife’s hair dryer I could hear my bones crack, muscles ping like elastic bands and a voice screaming just lay down, have a duvet day, sleep this one out. Only I know this is bad for me to do, firstly I need to be dressed before my wife leaves for work and that is 7am this week or I won’t manage it alone and secondly, just like physical activities have to be paced so does resting with frequent position changes. Believe it or not doing this in bed is more difficult than being sat up right, as being sat allows for more shuffles and position changes using less spoons whilst doing so.
The house during the course of the morning emptied with my wife going to work, my LG to Nanny and Grandad’s house and my son and his GF to college. Then I was alone with my own thoughts for company until 5pm, except for the delivery lady who knocked on my door. The time it took for me to get to her she had crossed the road and was stood with a neighbour signing for there item before returning to mine. She knows it takes me a while so does ding, dong, dash on my door 🙂
The frustration at the monotony of the last few months soon kicks, as do the increased meds to get over the short time out and a meal yesterday. Milkshake gives way to the Wright Stuff (to keep up to date with topical news and on a few occasions to even email, tweet or call in). This is followed by any number of repeats of The Storage Hunters, Top Gear, Homes under the Hammer, Come Dine With Me and so on………….. I prefer to watch channels with adverts and not just because as a child I loved them but because the frequent advert breaks are good ways of timing the funky shuffling between sitting, sitting legs up on a footstool, laying, walking, sitting at the table, making a drink, taking more meds and so on and so forth. Fortunately the afternoon’s television is a bit better as there is always Tipping Point and Pointless
Dinner was pre made in the Slow Cooker so my son reheated that and cooked some pasta and after dinner it was back to the sit, stand, lay routine. The additional spasm is continuing to haunt me and prevent sleep and it will take another day’s rest to get over going out briefly on Wednesday. Being stuck at home on my own and unable to do any of the bits of housework or tidying I can see laying around really does make you question your contribution to your family let alone anyone else and dark emotions can creep in really quickly. I did manage to pay the water bill online which was received today, along with submitting utility meter readings to EDF but that is the extent of my achievements all as a result of a few hours fun with your family. Days like today I am thankful for a digital camera as I can look back on the days events and smile, this coupled with using mindfulness is a good way of trying to keep your spirits up. It is not easy and I’m not going to pretend that it is, as if being physically in pain and tired isn’t enough I am constantly fighting off the emotional side effects and frustrations and there is no manual telling me how I’m going to feel and why! Mindfulness, Sudoku and puzzles and strategy games for the best part help.
So today really has been my hangover day, not brought on by alcohol as with my concoction of meds I don’t drink but like any other hangover it is totally worth it as it is a reminder of the fun you had that it!