This is going to be a brief blog as I must try and switch off and attempt sleep. However I wanted to briefly touch on the mental aspect of chronic pain, I don’t mean how it is messing with my head and what I am doing with my Pain Specialist Psychologist but I couldn’t think of a better way to term it. Even that sentence sucks, and this is what I mean. Living in pain and the high number of meds I take means even holding a conversation is physically and mentally tiring, actually having to try and sort a bill or a problem is nigh on impossible and constructing these all increase pain and exhaust you, unfortunately not to the point of getting a good sleep, or nap as you are in too much pain to do that. This is something I definetly want to try and write about and explain clearer in the future so I’m hoping this will be a memory jog to do that.
I know it sounds crazy to say a conversation is physically painful but for me each one uses spoons. Each one saps energy and each one means it is one less thing I can do later that day. So please do not think I am rude if I do not stop and talk for long with you, or if mid conversation I drift to a land of purple unicorns winning the world cup for England and I have to ask you to repeat yourself. I am not being intentionally rude or trying to appear flippant with you, I just at times cannot cope with the pain and talking and listening. Enough aimless waffling.