Day 101 – Positives

One of my short term goals is to increase the amount of time I spend with my LG, having been taking so many meds and being in so much pain for so long I have not been able to sleep properly and the knock on effect there is that I am not able to properly focus my attention on her so it is not safe for me to be on my own with her for any length of time without supervision in case I fall asleep.

Now that she is getting older she understands why it happens and she can tell when it is happening so she will come and make me jump and giggle when she does it. Well yesterday late morning (which is when I have my one semi with-it period of the day) I played with my LG all on my own, I crawled down on to the floor and we played cars, with her dolls house and had a tea party. It was for about 30 minutes until I could not handle the pain anymore and had to get back on to my special raised sofa. My LG is very astute and caring and this comes from looking after me and being in tune with my moods, they help her spot others moods and help her to care about other children to. I am slowly understanding and believing that far from robbing her of her childhood I am actually helping her to develop important social skills. It has taken my family and several other people including a wise former colleague L commenting on some of my blogs to see this as a positive.

We both really enjoyed the short amount of time together and followed this by reading book. She then went with my parents again to give me some rest and exhausted but happy I rested and relaxed for the next 6 hours. My only wish now is to be able to do this on a more frequent basis and for longer periods of time. I must however not run before I can walk and make sure it is the little things like this I focus on (you can probably tell I’m in a good mood today as I am reflecting on the positive side of this playtime and not the negatives), that is the world of pain and spoons!

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