More and more frequently I am finding that I am becoming unsteady on my feet having trips and falls more frequently, so at 3 years old we have started teaching our LG a Daddy emergency plan, being a huge fan of Fireman Sam and all the duties and safety he needs she is keen to learn and help. In the event of a fall she now knows to make sure I am awake and then to make sure I have my crutches/mobile/footstool nearby to help me get up.
More recently though I am finding that my hands no longer want to do as I want them to. For example hit the right keys on here, turn a key in a lock, hold my mobile phone or cups etc. Now sometimes it is a case of having a spasm and throwing the items and sometimes it is more a case of me not being able to feel the item in my hand, this has made self propelling myself in my wheelchair difficult and more regularly than I care to mention me dropping things. It is little items, like my dexterity is going (have I invented that word’s meaning) or having held something for a while I no longer feel it.
I recently blogged about milkshakegate when I dropped my LG’s milkshake all over our sofa (special clean only seat covers) and the ensuing panic from me, her and my wife. Well this morning my LG woke me at half 6 and we started watching kids breakfast TV shows. As is the normal routine she gives me some time to wake up and get comfortable, stretch etc whilst we watch all manner of weird and wonderful children’s TV programmes. It may be my influence but I have to say Peppa Pig has moved on and it is much more Paw Patrol, Fireman Sam, Postman Pat and Thomas the Tank Engine. After our toilet trip we pop to the kitchen and I get her a drink. This morning she asked for orange juice, and now she is getting bigger and older she is capable of carrying the drink over to the sofa for me.
This morning all was going well, we were watching Roobarb and Custard Too (one of my favourites from my childhood) and to try and avoid a repeat episode I regularly wiggle my fingers shuffle about and move my hands. Well this morning I didn’t quite feel on it and the truth was that my pain was spiking after the previous day’s trip to visit Gran. Well unbeknownst to me my LG had tuned in to this fact, even before I had. We carried on watching TV and about 10 minutes later she passed me her cup and went I’m finished for now daddy can you put it own on a mat somewhere safe. I hadn’t even realised I was no longer holding it. Getting over my shock I asked when she took the cup from me.
Her reply was priceless, I got told that she could tell that I was in pain so she was holding the cup to help me. When she felt it slipping she took it from me but didn’t want to tell me because I had got upset at the whole milshake saga before. She told me she had to let me know about putting it down as she didn’t yto drop it. I was touched that she was so in tune with my needs physically but also emotionally especially only recently turning three herself. I then went through the period of self loathing and saying sorry to her, but the great thing with kids is they call it as they see. When I said sorry she told me not to be so silly and that I hadn’t done anything wrong so had no need to say sorry. Isn’t it great how simple children see things in black and white. I put the beaker down and gave her an extra big squeeze and she burped. She then giggled and said pardon me and then said in her best pretend stroppy voice anyway you said you’d blame it on me next time………………………….. Living in constant pain and having to say no to so many things really can isolate and depress you living with my LG really does make life a little bit easier and a whole lot funnier. With my wife out at work and carrying the can at home my sense of humour has to a certain extent escaped me, my LG is helping me to laugh and find it again. Precious moments like this morning is what makes fighting on worth it