One of those days that leave me wracked with guilt

Today has been one of those days, as the title suggests that has left me riddled with guilt. It is a busy time of year and days doing something come thick and fast with no rest in between. When I woke this morning I could hardly move, every inch of my body was screaming hide under some covers, curl up and give in. Unfortunately I was not in a position to be able to do this.

We have seen my brothers and their families today. It has been lovely and it has been upsetting in equal measure. I haven’t been able to really play with my LG or nieces at all today, the pain has left me pretty much unable to talk as all I have been able to do is get my mind in a place where I have been as best as I could suppressing my pain. I have been desperate for some extra spoons and despite the thoughtful gift of a set of ergonomically designed kitchen utensils from one of my brothers it still has not been quite enough. I have seen them and their families and it has been lovely, unfortunately though the guilt of not being able to talk or play, or even get my own plate of food has been chipping away at me. They understand and I know they understand and for them and my nieces just seeing me has been lovely and I had some lovely cuddles from them I just wish on days like today I had some spoons to lift my spirit and ability to talk. Thank you for understanding and thank you for being part of my amazing family.

I love you all more than words can express.

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