The Daily Post prompt today asked ‘If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why?‘ living with chronic pain this is a question I have both been asked and contemplated on numerous occasions, from a simple pain perspective if I could go back to the night of my car accident I would take a different drive home. However the butterfly effect is as described one small ripple that can change the path of everything.
If I went back in time to this point the changes would have been as follows. I wouldn’t have been severely injured and couped up in my house for months, I then would not have attended my sixth form reunion, this would mean I wouldn’t have made contact with my now wife, I wouldn’t have been able to say some of the things I said that night. 8 months later we wouldn’t have had our first date, I wouldn’t have met J, 3 years later we wouldn’t have married, I wouldn’t have shared the good times we have had, a few years later we wouldn’t have bought our own home, 5 years later our LG would not have been born and so the ripples go on…….
Then I think about the night my best friend died, so many things about that day with hindsight make me feel like he knew he was unwell having previously had a brain hemorrhage, I wonder if the day changed because of some feeling he had. We went out watched England win 3-0 sunk a few beers, played pool, I took a photo of him late on as it was the one and only time I 8 balled him, we went home and I for some unknown reason put my phone on silent, something at the time I never did so I’d missed calls from his brother in the early hours of the morning. I’ve beaten myself up about doing this for years and it wasn’t until my wedding day when his brother delivered his best man speech that I was able to stop doing that. I wouldn’t have been able to prevent it and I will always have that night in my memory, the photo of him smiling bent over the pool table, all be it a little grainy as camera phones back then were very, very poor!
If I could relive all the wonderful moments again I’d live them all, it’s why they were wonderful, if I could scrub out some mistakes well what would the butterfly effect caused.
You only get one life, you have to live it as best you can, making the most of the hand dealt to you, live without regrets if you can, laugh, cry, kick (or mobility scooter wheelspin) leaves in autumn do what makes you happy, what is right for your famiends and you, try not to hurt others, forgive but don’t forget, make mistakes but learn from them! If you have regrets try to make them into something you learnt from and that you turned around into something new, exciting or that you no longer regret………….