Day 259 – Positives

Today’s positive was also a big scary eek – I had my 12 month review at the pain clinic from the 10 week Pain Management Programme that was a life saver for me. It helped me to accept my disability and to start moving on with my life, if gave me the courage to acknowledge that I was not capable to continue working without it significantly impacting on my health further and my ability to start to control my pain and accept the changes to my life, home, mobility aids etc that were needed.It made me realise that acceptance and giving in were the polar opposites and that is why I now volunteer a few hours a week in my local community when my pain allows, the pressure is off and things are improving. Weirdly my pain and mobility is worse but my wellbeing is better or at least my view of myself. It’s not to say I don’t have days and even longer periods where I am low and down about my pain, life and what little I contribute but I recognise these periods better and force myself out of them

It was good to review and see how on that journey I have travelled and where I am 12 months on, and to request the Hydrotherapy course at the hospital so I can get back in the water like Jaws 2 only cr@pper 🙂 It was also scary because now we have complete our jigsaw puzzle we are on our own and that frightens me. What makes it easier is the friends I made like Jez and Lou on the course and all those I have met through NACP. There is also the safety net that we can cut out the middleman and GPreferral to some extent and call and leave a message with the clinic if we get in dire straits.

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