Today has been another day of worrying about the strength of character needed to create change, and a period of self reflection. It then dawned on me that ever since my mind has been “elsewhere” my LG has been playing up with me, she’s not daft at 3 she has more brains and awareness than some adults I know and so she has been toying with me.
This evening we had a really good laugh and play as we were telling stories at bedtime and she told me she liked funny dad and seeing me smile made her happy! See I told you that she’s a bright one. For the last 3 days I’ve been so preoccupied with failure I’ve not been seeing the successes in front of my eyes everyday. The hug my son gave me at midnight Tuesday night and told me he loved me, his GF not making a big deal about the state of me, my family and friends all helping me, the new people I have met and am proud to call my friends, the friends at WAG, the community that is being built all around me and my mind is clearer this evening then it has been for a long time.
Fortunately I had a good friend K come round today and that cheered me up, it helped me see things a little clearer, we have been friends for decades and seeing her, chatting about our families and things and making plans for the future, these are what are important to me, these are what I am thankful for and these are why I am positive that what I am doing is a good thing, for the benefit of the community and as the saying goes it takes a village to raise a family – I’m just making sure the right people are in my village. I know I need to deal with some people who don’t see things the way they should be seen in the 21st century, I cannot change them, I can however educate them to see things differently. If they are beyond education then bigger fools them. Learning is a lifelong thing, the minute you stop learning, you stop living. I am living again because I have now had time to learn from what went on these last few months. I can hold my head up high when I look at my LG, I took action, I broke the pain barrier and I have learnt that even in failure all my children want to see is me happy and trying the best I can. Not bad for a 3 year old and a 19 year old to have taught their ol’ man something these last few days!