Day 75 – Positives

Life is really crazy at the moment, this week is flying by and I just cannot keep up with all the achievements and positives. It is a bizarre statement because as I sit here, mind whirling and pain spiking I am struggling to make sense of it all.

When I reflect back on the year the flat lows back in February when I heard I was losing the one decently accessible playing park and field and the tears I shed with my LG, to where I am today and the things I have achieved it all seems surreal. It doesn’t seem from those dark gloomy days and feelings of hopelessness to the creation of Wymondham Access Group and this week meeting Mark Harrison the CEO of Equal Lives and having him describe me as dynamic, inspirational and a credit to the community is mind blowing. I lost, for many years, all self esteem, I became riddled with self doubt and a lack of self worth. I am very good at acting but occasionally the veil slips the vulnerability slips through.

As I reflect on the year so far it seems like I have already ran a marathon, and I also have another to run over the next couple of months. I promise to reveal more next Thursday but until now my lips are sealed. All will become apparent! I will be reluctantly blogging off for a period as I need to stay healthy (the irony of that phrase, but healthy for me) and focussed on a project so for a month I will go. Please readers stay with me though as I will be back, and I will no doubt share some updates of the project which will explain my absence.

Rambling, I get back to my positives firstly I had a lovely afternoon looking after my niece and spending some time with my younger brother and his family. I am blessed with people around me and never see one another as often as I wish with all my family and friends but life gets in the way, I wish it didn’t but it does.

I desperately need to write some more blogs and not necessarily these everyday, as I feel you only get a snap shot of my day as opposed to the full me.

Maybe two years was long enough, maybe I should do weekly positives and daily mood blogs #selfdoubtcreepingin

3 thoughts on “Day 75 – Positives

  1. Thank you Linda, yes two years and two and a half months. I am doing about an hour of email/computer work 5 days a week and it is leaving me exhausted, however it is very, very important to me personally, Wymondham Access Group and my community that I do this so it is a positive. In the evenings however I find myself sometimes stressing that I haven’t blogged my positive, so do this and then am spiking pain before bed meaning I sleep worse. I have 9 blogs started too and never seem to have the energy to finish them and they are important as part of my journey and helping others. I think the break, re-focus and change is needed. It is a positive in itself that I recognise this, can openly admit it and put it out there instead of beat myself up about it. The next chapter is very exciting, and I am getting ever closer to meeting for that coffee soon. Would love to manage to do it in Norwich too, although Wymondham is very pretty and showing you around it appeals too, access is a bit of an issue though. Oh the irony!

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  2. Intriguing… Weekly positives are a good idea if your time and energy is needed elsewhere. Two years – time flies! Yes, maybe two years has been enough to put you back on the right track – count that as a positive in itself. I look forward to the next chapter!

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