2018 is approximately one twenty fourth gone (a bizarre opening I know), and I already feel like the year is going to be a tough one. After a number of good months of weight loss I found with the indulgences at Christmas I encountered my first week of gain. No big deal really but getting the discipline back has been harder than I imagined and I’ve had a week of staying the same. A real kick up the backside, but with another 3 stone minimum to go, a kick I needed. There are foods I love and for many years I could eat what I wanted and with the amount I was able to exercise it didn’t matter. Things are massively different now and the inability to exercise coupled with a learnt love of food frustrates the hell out of me. If I’m honest, it’s the not being able to exercise that I find hardest. A run was valuable me time in decades gone by.
Following on from Christmas we had a relaxing mini-break booked at centre parcs down the road from our home town. It was lovely to escape to the forest with my family and have some downtime if there is such a thing. It was our first stay as a family and I hope it won’t be our last. We were treated to a veritable feast of nature at our window each morning enjoying the breakfast we put down for them. We had lots of fun spotting birds, deer, squirrels and any number of other fauna.
We made some lovely memories, mad science, adventure of the senses and had a soak in the pool, that had good disabled access, large changing facilities with beds although these were available to all and no surprises they were always the ones wanted by everyone. I tell you when it comes to a larger changing room, toilet or parking space everyone wants to use it if only all the same people wanted to have the disability that makes theses a necessity not a luxury. I digress (a theme of my blogs). There was ramped access into the pool and wet side wheelchairs, the staff were well informed and even understood the difference between ambulant and non ambulant wheelchair users. The one downside was there was no way of booking an accessible pool side cabana as there was only 1 and being the largest this was always booked and not listed as accessible. This really was the only negative regards the swimming and activities we booked, although a bit more information on the website wouldn’t go amiss. When booking in we were given a permit to place next to my blue badge in the window of my car (available if you’re the driver) so I could leave my car outside the cabin and hoist my scooter/wheelchair in and out depending which one I was using. The adventure of the senses had an alternative wheelchair route so I could do 95% of the activities and the pathways throughout the site were a good standard meaning I could switch between using my mobility scooter to go on nature walks, watch crazy golf and the like and using my wheelchair to have something to sit on comfortably when going to eat.
The weekend was a huge success and we left with big smiles on our faces and great memories to look back on. The downside of a peak like this is the payback I get for over exerting myself, pushing myself too far, maximum medicating and sealing spoons. We returned home 10 days ago now and I’m still suffering the consequences, increased pain, sleep deprivation, increased mood swings, lower daily function. In essence I’ve been a hermit other than the school run. It is times like this when having a friend as my PA has been amazing. He’s shopped for me, come in each day and done all the things he usually does and just left me to doze in and out of pain unconsciousness, it’s the best phrase I can come up with to describe my body shutting down when the pain is too much. I’m not really unconscious but I’m not really coherent either, it’s just what happens when my body says you know what I can’t deal with this pain. Sadly it’s for about 30 minute intervals as I either spasm or twitch and have to move slightly to get comfortable again. The payback for having fun is a b!tch but the one thing last year taught me with the loss of far too many friends is that life is too short to sit around doing nothing. The pain is never going away, the frustration, the good days, the bad days they are part of life and I have to embrace them.
Each year I hope the new year will bring with it easier times, some minor miracle of a day out without two days either side in preparation and recovery, or people not having to plan things around me and quickly that hope fades away after a few weeks on the roller-coaster,although I try not to be too negative as I know there’s always others worse off than me and good friends going through harder times, whether it be physically or mentally or both, but for me personally I do wish there were some days where the roller-coaster was more of a relaxed cruise.