A weight off my mind and body

Back in August at one of my many regular hospital appointments I was asked by the staff about my weight. Not in an insulting way,  but I was having a scan and they needed to know I was under 23 stone. Needless to say I was shocked and although not angry I was mildly insulted. I thought how can they think I weigh anything near 20 stone let alone 23!

All my life I’ve weighed heavy and I can’t remember last time I was under 14 stone and I know over the years and especially since my car accident my weight has increased. However for me it had never become an issue to the point that I was concerned about it, well not until that day. Worse still was that when I was weighed to make sure I wasn’t going to break the machine 😂 😂 😂 I weighed just under 20 stone. Yeah my get in, in your face nurse, I’m well under 23 stone celebration was cut short as the realisation that I was nearly 20 stone hit me. Then I was put I the MRI machine where I spent the whole time in a panic and thinking if I was nearer 23 next time I went in they’d need to get me out again with a tin opener.

Being unable to exercise my option was to make the most of my newly appointed Personal Assistant and make a concerted effort to eat healthy and lose some weight. Friends have spoken highly of various diets and companies and I choose the one I thought would suit me. The difficulty was I couldn’t go to the meetings and get weighed so I was going to have to do it at home. Fortunately I have some good friends doing the same healthy living plan so with their support and encouragement I set up my own plan, bought what I needed and set a weekly weigh in day.

3 months has passed and I have lost just under 3 stone. I can’t remember the last time there was a 16 at the start of my scales but I was pleasantly surprised this morning. According to my tracking app I have just over the same to go again to get to my ideal weight, however I was 14 last time I was anywhere near that. To stay fairly close to what I weighed today would make me happy since it is now the festive period and hopefully this time next year I will be celebrating my target.

This weight loss not only has helped my own esteem (something I didn’t think had been affected), my mood and my body is better for it too. I’ve effectively lost the weight of my LG, my clothes no longer fit for a good reason and although I miss some foods I’m finding little amounts of what I like can still be eaten just in sensible portions. Certainly has been a weight off my mind and body. 

For The Billion | Martyn Sibley

This is an inspiring read, not only about overcoming adversity and learning to accept and persevere in life, but also explains what makes people disabled (the physical barriers like steps) and how everyone can play a part in changing the world we live in.

Martyn Sibley’s blog and story.

My personal story It was June 1999. There were wires and tubes coming out of my body everywhere. I was hallucinating. I was sure the nurse was my Irish grandma (who had passed away nearly 10 years before). Worst of all I was violently sick every hour, for days. I’d never been in hospital for… Continue Reading

Source: For The Billion | Martyn Sibley

This is on my 2018 wish list with my PA as it’s been nearly 2 decades since watching a live match so this article in the latest motability newsletter really has some useful tips!Going to a football match with a disability | Motability Scheme

Now the football season is in full swing, use our tips for heading to a game with a disability.

Source: Going to a football match with a disability | Motability Scheme

Parking Wars

I am the first to be frustrated by people who park like the photos below, blocking dropped kerbs and whole payments and it drives me insane the excuses you hear. Everybody seems so caught up in their own lives that as a society people forget their are others to think about. 

Yesterday a builder did it and as my daughter politely pointed out as we squeezed through cutting over plants the parking was rubbish. I said (as it was early) hopefully he’s just unloading and will move it later. Sadly not. For nearly 3 days a pavement was blocked and it didn’t need to be.

Today however as I was scooting home a BT Openreach van was blocking the pavement. Now I don’t like mentioning companies in my blog as they don’t necessarily have the opportunity to defend themselves, today though it is a positive story so credit where credit is due.  He was if there is such a thing as doing it perfectly blocking the pavement perfectly. Not only were signs up for pedestrians as a large hole was uncovered on the pavement but the man working was brilliant. He was keeping an eye out for pedestrians and with all the school traffic about he went into the road to ensure it was safe for me to go round his van, I couldn’t see past it so had no idea where the cars were. The man without needing to be asked, did it automatically and made sure I passed safely. It seems like a small thing for most people as you can step off the pavement and peer round vehicles however for me on my scooter I have no choice but to go into the road and today without the man’s help I would have literally been chancing passing the van to luck. 

It just goes to show that there is a right and a wrong way to do things, there are no excuses for bad parking, but workers who need to do a job could learn a lot from the BT man this morning. I like to give people the benefit of doubt especially when working, but your one or two seconds really can be the difference to someone’s life, trip out etc. I don’t always have my PA with me and I want to be able to be independent, I am however always dependent on a community having common sense.  It isn’t always easy but it can be done. 
Parking like this is however always a no, no, and can lead to you being prosecuted by the police. Worse though it can lead to someone feeling isolated in their community afraid to go out or in danger in the middle of the road. Please just stop and think when you park am I blocking pedestrians, wheelchairs, pushchairs dropped kerbs, would I want my child or relative put at risk. Never think I’ll only be a few minutes it won’t matter. It does it really does!  

If you come round the corner past the dropped kerb you are blocked and reversing on a pavement with children other people and families isn’t easy, and there’s no need to block the pavement
There is no excuse for this, not only was I blocked, parents with pushchairs had issues, and the bobbled pavement is designed to help those with visual impairments to cross

Imagine if you had crossed from here, you are visually impaired, in a road and then wham you are stuck!

The truth is it hurts…..

When I started my blog I promised to bare it all warts and all but the truth is this year I haven’t had it in me to write. I try to remain positive, I try to find solutions not just problems, I try to look forward with hope and happiness and I try above all else to show the world that despite my pain and disability life goes on. The reality is that this year I have been floundering so that it has felt that most of the year my head has been spent below water only managing to capture the odd breath of air keeping me alive.

It hasn’t just been my own health that has been the worst I’ve experienced that is the issue, the year has been my own annus horribilis. It started with the news that someone I love with all my heart had breast cancer and to further complicate the issue no immediate operation could be completed as she also had deep vein thrombosis. For the past 7 months we have as a family been very worried whilst all the time trying to remain positive. This in itself has caused a series of knock on affects, the most significant of which for me is the acceptance that I needed a part time carer to help throughout the day. Another huge step on my journey. I am pleased to say the prognosis is good now for my loved one following a mastectomy.

Following this diagnosis Granny with the white hair at the age of 92 passed away after a brief spell in hospital. She was the kindest and most loving grandparent you could wish for. Sadly she was diagnosed with Alzheimers towards the end of last year and although the end came quickly and peacefully it wasn’t any easier. Not only did she until last year get up early to cook fresh scones whenever we visited she was a great source of comfort for our family and my wife has happy childhood memories spent with her. Losing your grandparents I guess is a part of life as they get older, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

One of my best friends moved away for personal reasons with very little in the way of a goodbye, and it is easier for him to have no contact with me, despite several messages and emails from me. His brother was one of my best friends and he died 13 years ago after a night out with me. It now feels as if I have lost them both.

Shortly after this news a friend, former footballer and colleague, mentor and genuinely all round top bloke was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. He went from winning darts tournaments in April to saying his final goodbyes in June. This hit me hard as I am fast approaching 40 and I have lost too many people in my life already. Another former colleague lost her battle with cancer this month and another friend had been working off his bucket list as he was given months to live earlier this year. He passed away this month and we said our goodbyes to him last Wednesday, complete with a Motorbike Parade and Guard of Honour. This all hurts and has contributed to it being a hard year. Stress aggravates my pain, sleepless nights and guilt for not seeing them more make me question how good a friend and person I am and makes me hate my disability. It is hard to explain the physical as well as mental affect these sort of things have on me. I know when I look back on the year there will have been fun and positives it is just so hard to see them when the lows have been so extreme.

So my blog has been neglected, my pain has spiked, and something had to give. The blog was the easiest thing I have that I could stop and so I did. Now I am trying to look forward and adjust to life with my relatively newly appointed PA helping me.  To give myself a focus I am on a diet trying to lose weight which is tough when exercise is impossible but I am starting to feel like there is more I can do to help manage the pain and to start living life again. My weight is another jigsaw piece in this and I have lost nearly 2 and a half stone since September. My family did the Alzheimer’s Society memory walk in September in memory of Granny with the white hair and we are now preparing for the Christmas celebrations and our Wedding Anniversary. It has been a tough year, it has been a painful year and I have struggled and so I hid from the blogging, those who know me well knew this, for some of you perhaps this gives you a glimpse into the past year. Fortunately I have a very strong, loving and understanding network of family and friends who help me with the dark times, a wife who I am sure I don’t deserve, children who make me proud and smile and famiends who I can rely on. Here’s hoping that with them I get back on track, that 2018 brings with it fresh challenges and exciting times and a few more blogs…..